Massachusetts
by Jet556
Summary: Randy encountering a pukwudgie! Heidi and Debbie abducted by aliens! Howard encountering the Dover Demon! All this on a trip to Massachusetts!
1. Held Up By A Cop

**Welcome everyone. It is out of Norrisville we go, this time for real. That dream based off of "Sherlock Holmes and the Mystery of the Mummy" does not count. Enjoy and review.**

 **Held Up By A Cop**

The place was Dover, the day a Saturday and the person was Ken Finlayson. Wanting to have a quiet Saturday with his girlfriend Heidi Weinerman, Ken planned to go out to Bellingham with Heidi for the day. Unfortunately, three people ended up hijacking the trip. Two of them were Randy Cunningham and Heidi's brother Howard causing Ken to ask "What did you idiots do this time?" The answer was vague and nonsensical. The other was Debbie Kang. Why? She was Ken's biggest critic but the thought of a visit to some other New England town for a day was appealing to her so for the day there would be no criticizing of Ken.

However by the time they were in Dover, Ken ended up being held up by a cop for questioning. Her ancestry was unidentifiable. She had dark skin and long wavy hair that was common amongst Latin Americans, high cheekbones common in Asians and blue eyes most prevalent in those who ancestors came from the Caucasus Mountains.

"Look, all of you just go look around town, I'll clear things up with this lady here." The moment, Ken said those words Heidi, Randy, Howard and Debbie both left the car. Once they were gone, Ken turned to the cop. "For the last time, I am anti-gun! Why would I be smuggling guns?"

"Anti-gun? What are you? Un-American?"

"I was born in Morocco, I've lived in many countries in my sixteen years, I do not identify as just a Moroccan, a Canadian or as an American. I identify as all of those."

"Then you are Un-American!"

"How did you reach that conclusion?" Ken couldn't believe this.

"How can you identify as American and not be pro-gun?"

"How can an idiot be a police officer?"

"Well, all they have to do is enlist."

"I am going to report you for this!" Ken leaned forward and looked at the name on the officer's uniform. "I am going to report you… 'I am totally a cop.'" Ken's eyes narrowed and he looked into the face of the pretender to the law. "Wait a minute… Just who are you?"


	2. Randy and the Pukwudgie

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 **Randy and the Pukwudgie**

Ken had spoken of the Pukwudgie once before. A nasty little creature that according to American Indian lore labored under a curse! They could not directly attack their prey, so they learned to entice their prey. They used be friendly little harmless creatures but they became upset with both man and the Creator and since then the Pukwudgies had been something avoid, they liked luring people deeper into the forest. Ken had never heard of anyone having a friendly encounter with a Pukwudgie.

Pukwudgies were described as two to three feet tall with features that resembled those of a human but with enlarged noses, fingers and ears while also having smooth, glowing grey skin. They could appear and disappear at will, transform into a porcupine, they could attack and lure people to their deaths, they could use magic, they had poison arrows, they could create fire at will and they could control the souls of the people they had killed.

So, Randy went in search of one while Howard went in search of the Dover Demon. Why? Because the Dover Demon always ran away from witnesses! Howard would be safe! Going after a Pukwudgie was something best left to a Ninja! And so it was that the Ninja did go in search of Pukwudgies.

Deep into the forest he went, as the Ninja of course! He knew not if the Pukwudgie was real or if it was just a myth but according to Ken people had encountered these creatures therefore they must have been real if someone encountered on. And yet there was something Ken said that Randy could not remember. Something about messing with them…

When Randy did see a Pukwudgie it was just as Ken had described it. It was weird looking! It was like something out of the darkest part of the human consciousness. So, there was a Pukwudgie… Now what was he supposed to do?

"Come to us! Come to us!" said the Pukwudgie.

Us? There was only one of them! Unless… There were more of them? But where? It did not matter. He was here to mess with the Pukwudgies! Except Ken has said not to mess with the Pukwudgies or they would repay whoever messed with them by playing nesting tricks or following them and causing trouble.

Randy had come to mess with Pukwudgies. What would they do? Follow him back to Norrisville?

That thought only caused Randy's eyes to widen. What if they did follow him back to Norrisville? He and Howard were neighbors now they'd probably follow him to school causing trouble… Theresa! What if they went after her?

No! No! That was not something he would risk. Randy would go back into town. Messing with Pukwidgies was for shoobs.


	3. Ken to the Rescue

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 **Ken to the Rescue**

"Look, I don't know if this is a game to you but pretending to be a cop is against the law." Stated Ken. Ten minutes had passed. Ten minutes and he was still being held up. Held up by someone impersonating a cop. "Also you will just give the good caps a bad name and make those idiots think all the more that there is no good cops."

"It's just a hobby!" replied the woman.

"Get a new one!" yelled Ken. "This isn't funny. This is sick!"

"Whatever, I'm bored. I'll go stop someone else." And with that the woman left the scene.

The moment she left, Ken's phone started ringing. The only logical thing to do was answer it. So, he did.

"Hello?"

"Ken…" It was Heidi. "I'm not sure if this is a bad time or anything but we have some softball sized wasps trying to carry us off."

"Softball sized wasps?" Ken then realized what they were. "Oh, aliens from Mars."

"I think the word you're looking for is Martian."

"Thank you, dear. How many of them are there?"

"Three and they keep switching from trying to lift me off the ground to lifting Debbie off the ground." Heidi chuckled. "I have to admit, since Debbie is shorter they're having and easier time lifting her off the ground than someone taller like me."

"Also, they probably aren't going to get that far if they keep switching between you and her." Ken laughed. "Where are you? Uh, huh? Yeah, I'll be there soon and try to stay still. These things are like our wasps where they sting you if you move." Within five minutes, Ken had reached a clearing where sure enough Heidi and Debbie were standing while three softball sized wasps tried to carry them off. Heidi and Debbie were both standing still. This was the most epic failure of an alien abduction in existence. "So what is this? Take five of trying to carry you off, Heidi?"

"Take thirty-five." Heidi couldn't believe they hadn't given up yet.

"How are you doing, Debbie?"

"This is too weird to run away from." Replied Debbie. Heidi was in agreement, as was Ken.

"Okay, hold on I'll get them off your back." And with that Ken shooed away the softball-sized wasps in a way that is too vague to describe.


	4. Howard and the Dover Demon

**Welcome back everyone. This chapter might be short but I'm intending to focus more on a story I intend to get published for a while. Enjoy and review.**

 **Howard and the Dover Demon**

According to Ken the Dover Demon had a watermelon shaped head and a body like a lanky monkey. It had very large eye sockets and glowing eyes but no perceptible facial features. The Demon was reported to stand at a height of four feet with a hairless body and bright orange skin.

So Howard walked along a broken stonewall in search of the Dover Demon. He would find it or he would stop eating all Weiner type foods! Yes, that was exactly what he would do!

And then he saw it. Just as Ken described it! There the Dover Demon was sitting atop the stonewall! Howard had found it!

Taking out his phone to take a picture, Howard laughed to himself. "This'll show Cunningham! He'll never find a Pukwudgie but I just found the Dover Demon!"

And then the Dover Demon turned its head and its eyes met Howard's.

Howard dropped his phone and ran away screaming.

And what did the Dover Demon do? Did it run after Howard? No. Did it drop down and throw the phone at him? No. Did he roar at Howard? No.

So what did it do?

It merely jumped down, grabbed Howard's phone and then jumped over the wall. And away it went! That was Howard's encounter with the Dover Demon.


	5. Homeward

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 **Homeward**

It was in a café in town that the citizens of Norrisville met. They all related their experiences. Ken himself found a great frustration in Randy's experience.

"Let me get this straight, you went in search of a Pukwudgie?"

"Yes, I forgot some of what you said but then I remembered." Replied Randy.

"It is lucky you did since the Ninja stays in Norrisville and would not have been able to help you." Ken had not told anyone he knew who Randy was. Where would it have gotten him? What would it have gotten him? Randy had his right to privacy. "And you!" he said while turning to Howard. "You ran away from the Dover Demon? What a milksop you are! Were you not listening when I said that the Dover Demon is not hostile? That it always flees when someone sees it?"

"And you forgot your phone at the wall!" exclaimed Heidi.

"Mort will get me a new one."

"Indeed… Well, after this adventurous day I'd say that going home to Norrisville would be perfect." Said Ken. "Any objections?" There was none. "Not even from you, Debbie? Do you not wish to criticize me?"

"I promised no criticism for today. There will be criticism tomorrow."

"Then I will buy earplugs."

Going back to Ken's car, Ken discovered Howard's phone in the driver's seat. Tossing it to a confused Howard, Ken put his key in the ignition. This was a strange day. It was time go home.

 **The End**


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